Virtual Couples Therapy in British Columbia
If you and your partner feel stuck in the same argument on repeat, you are not doing it wrong. Underneath most recurring conflict is an attachment need that is not being met, or an old wound getting evoked in the present moment. I offer virtual couples therapy for folks across British Columbia, so you can do this work from the comfort of your own space.
Does this sound familiar?
The same fight keeps reoccurring in different variations
One of you pursues while the other shuts down or needs space
Repairing after conflict feels hard, or does not happen at all
You feel disconnected and more like roommates than partners
None of this means something is wrong with you or your relationship. It usually means you are both in protection mode, and those protective strategies keep colliding.
How I work with couples
My approach to couples work draws on attachment theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy, The Developmental Model, and trauma-informed therapy. It works with the injured parts of ourselves that continue to show up in conflict, rather than only the story of what happened. In session, I take an active, hands-on role. I coach you both through practicing new skills as we go, and I offer more direction than I do in individual work, because change in a relationship often needs a clear, steady guide. I check in regularly to make sure we stay on a path that feels right for the two of you.
Together, we will work on:
Repairing past hurts so each of you can name what you need to feel safe enough to reconnect
Fighting well by communicating in ways that bring you closer instead of further apart
Repair and co-regulation after conflict, and becoming a steady, safe attachment figure for each other
Moving beyond defensive patterns like blaming, withdrawing, and resentful compliance
Compassion for each other's younger parts, while still holding healthy boundaries
Differentiation and intimacy, a strong sense of self alongside a strong sense of partnership
What sessions look like
Couples sessions are 75 minutes and held virtually by video. The first step is a free 15-minute consultation, where we talk about what is bringing you in and see whether we feel like a good fit. There is no obligation to book afterward. Couples therapy is $250 per 75-minute session.
Common Questions
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It is very common for one partner to feel more hesitant. The free consultation is a good place to talk through what feels uncertain, and you are welcome to email me with any questions first.
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This is entirely dependent upon what you’re coming in for, I typically suggest more frequent sessions in the beginning to get the ball rolling and then we have maintenance sessions for ongoing support.
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I typically do the first session together as a couple, then one session each individually, before coming back together as a couple for all future sessions. I don’t work individually on an ongoing basis.
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Couples therapy is a wonderful opportunity to deepen your connection with your partner no matter where you’re at in your relationship. Preventative communication strategies can be majorly beneficial in creating a strong and sustainable partnership.